Juniper Disco || no. 8

Chewbacchus, gloomy shoo-wops, and the Cirque du Soleil Uprising of Winter 2020

Well then. I am in a mood. The last couple of weeks knocked the wind out of me. I am agitated, angry, defeated, and ridiculously unfocused and unproductive. I cocooned. I sniped. Dishes piled up. I didn’t finish this newsletter on time.

Stephen and I shuffled up and down the hallway all week, alternately sighing loudly and asking Alexa to “please play ‘In the Still of the Night’ one more time.” Those gloomy shoo-wops from The Irishman are the perfect earworm to support our low-energy Jeb state of mind.

I blame Iowa. And 52 Senate Republicans, one deranged so-called president of the United States, and anyone named Bill Barr.

First, thank you for your kind words about my very personal Magenta Chicken from last time.

I hate the term “self-care,” but clearly it’s time to talk about it. Once those shuffles down the hall turned into choreographed dance routines with jazz hand accents, it was time to gather myself and get on with it. A few tips:

  • Sleep as much as you can, whenever you can. Dreams wash your brain.

  • Don’t share things with others that you haven’t checked to see if they are true.

  • Declare your home a safe space from All That. Turn off the news. Protect yourself. I have a huge hunk of black tourmaline in front of the TV to absorb all that poison. Mute him. Mute his supporters. Fashion your own velcro holster so you can move quickly with that remote.

  • Double-down on your social media edit. Long ago I unfollowed almost all of my Facebook friends. The result? A streamlined feed that I never even look at or scroll through. I now just go in and look at specific groups, like the fan group of the resort we’re headed to in a month (so many monkey photos!). I created a Dogs + Culture list in Twitter that almost completely eliminates the political commentary. Do what you need to do.

  • Purge anything that makes you feel bad. I am proud to say I unsubscribed from the Goop newsletter and will not be watching Goop Lab.

  • Buy self tanner. I cannot stress this enough.

My fellow village people grabbed their pitchforks and marched to Town Hall this past week in Problemstown. You can read all about the Cirque du Soleil Uprising of Winter 2020 right here and here.



Stephen woke up grumbling, “stupid New Hampshire” this morning. He’s all in for Bailey Warren and he is just as mopey as I am. While we slowly trudge around the neighborhood, he’s humming “shoo wop shoo wa” under his breath and giving snarky side eye to the local squirrels.

Sorry for the late newsletter this week. I can’t promise it won’t happen again.